Sometimes life is beautiful, and sometimes it brings more burdens than we feel we can bear. Often these burdens come hand in hand with choices, decisions that we must make on behalf of someone else.
This story is for every parent who has faced the unthinkable decisions that nobody is ready to make. This story is for every child, youth or adult who has ever felt the bitter pain of worthlessness. And this story is a celebration of my beloved parents, who have dedicated their lives and sacrificed so much, to provide myself and my sister with everything that we have ever needed.
Written with an adoration and an admiration for my father God in heaven, who’s love is unconditional and perfect. A God filled with compassion, grace and love for every person, in every situation.
Dedicated to: Aboudi and Salah, Patrick and Theresa and Omar and Rebecca.
“The truth is, your daughter will never be normal, she will never live an easy life. The strain that she will bring will be an incredible amount of pressure on your family.”
The words echoed through the empty room as the doctor slowly began to list of the various illnesses.
One by one.
They had announced the news February last year, the couple were to become parents to a little girl – a beautiful blessing, a little sister, a cousin, a niece.
A little girl, who would become a member of their family; treasured, precious and loved.
Like a knife, sharp and intrusive, the words of the doctor cut through the dreary thoughtful silence that had filled the room.
“We could terminate the baby, in the long term this may be more beneficial – if the girl lives we expect that she will not live longer than one year.”
The Father-to-be stood with his hand on his wife’s shoulder as he stared towards the floor.
A pearly tear trickled down the side of his face.
From the outside he was calm and collected, composed and strong, but from inside he was screaming.
ANGER, blood red and bitter.
Suddenly he had questions, unanswered questions.
Life had been hard for him, as a child he had never known the comfort and compassion of a family.
He remembered the feeling of rejection as his own father stared him in the eye and he remembered the pain of his father’s cruel, hate filled words:
“You are nothing to me, nothing but a stupid idiot! You were my biggest mistake.”
He felt a tremble beneath him, and as he looked down he saw his wife, his companion, his best friend, crying.
Her makeup once unnoticeable now lay smeared around her eyes.
He held her in his arms, he had never felt so helpless.
He remembered the moment he had taken her into his arms and asked her to be his wife, his one and only, his lady.
He remembered their wedding day, she was so beautiful – an angel dressed in white with a flawless smile and the most contagious laugh.
He remembered asking her to be the mother of his children.
As the day drew into evening the doctor’s words played continuously though his head.
“Terminate” “Child” “One Year”
All his life he had believed in reasons. Everything in life had a reason. Everything in life had a purpose.
But this time, he had no answers.
As he washed the dishes pondering the days ahead, considering the decisions and the consequences, the radio rattled in the background.
Within minutes a stream of sentences, a chorus, echoed throughout the empty kitchen.
“Everlasting Father, enduring love forever, your kindness makes me stronger“
“I am loved, I am loved, by my Father, I’m forever Yours”
Such simple words, such powerful words.
He had lived over twenty years of his life believing the lies and the words uttered over him at such a young age.
He had believed he was worthless.
Then came the time when he met with the love of a father, unexpectedly.
He had promised from that moment onwards to live his life empowered by that same love.
He had made a promise to himself that if he ever had a family, if he ever had children, they would never go a day without feeling loved, protected, honored and treasured.
They would know what it was to have a father.
Four weeks later, hand in hand, the couple walked into the doctors room.
And with a smile on his face the man looked at the doctor.
And as the doctor began to discuss the process of termination, the man interrupted, in a strong, emotion filled voice:
“We will keep the child, whether she lives for one day, or fifty years. She will know a father’s love and a mother’s smile. She will feel love every second of her life. She will be treasured, honored and cherished.”
The doctor stared at the couple, in awe and shock.
“And we have a name for our daughter – Joy – She is her father’s joy!”
He paused, and slowly as his eyes filled with tears and a smile formed on his face.
“She is her father’s joy… she is MY JOY!”
SONG: EVERLASTING FATHER