Remembrance

For the encouraging friend and brother who uses his time and energy to inspire the ones that he loves to live their lives to the fullest, I want to thank you for living fearlessly and for choosing to use your time to encourage others. You are a blessing and a treasure. 

***

“Yella habibi, let’s go! I have time” 

And so we drove away from the vibrant lights of Amman, far from the city streets, we drove.

As the city disappeared behind us, the road ahead widened.

The two of us, two friends who were not searching for anything but were merely filling time, drove beyond the noise to simplicity, to nature.

As the road swerved the dead sea was revealed to our right: a shimmering, black, vast carpet of water hidden by the darkness of the night.

A short time passed and we stepped out of the car to take a look.

The glimmering city lights opposite defined the distant hills of Jerusalem  from the thick black sky.

And we looked up. There they were, in their thousands – stars.

Within a few minutes the world became so insignificant. The thoughts and questions that had consumed my mind for months were silenced.

All then my surroundings disappeared, it was just me. 

I have never known a peace like that, so swift and sudden.

For the past few weeks questions had haunted me, thoughts on the past, feelings about the future.

Now, nothing seemed to matter.

I realized that the past, full of joy and triumph, mistakes and regrets, would always be the past.

As I stood, watching the stars, listening to the gentle music playing from the car, a shooting star ran through the sky.

I have seen a shooting star once before in my life, whilst sitting at the beach.

The star like a strange, reassuring, gentle whisper, reminded me of something I seem to forget so quickly.

 God is with me.

Within seconds the shooting star had vanished.

Looking up, it was so hard to imagine how such a vast ray of beauty could merely be an accident or a chance.

That night, I felt held in the hands of someone greater than I could ever be. Held by someone far more knowledgeable than me. Held by God.

The designer of the universe, designed my heart.

He knows my weaknesses and failures, my strengths and my accomplishments.  And he was there, with us.

He is there in the complicated and he is there in the simplicity.

It’s hard to put words to such a feeling.

Insignificant, yet still significant.

It is the feeling of knowing that your life is one of billions in this universe, yet your life is so perfectly unique and complex.

The feeling of empowerment and liberation was one that I will never forget, one I will always remember.

 

Advertisements

AN INTERACTION WITH DARKNESS (A PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE)

The concept of a loving God can be hard to picture in a world so rooted in darkness. This story is based on a personal experience and the restoring love of God. When bad things happen we have two options – to run away from God, or run straight towards him.

My prayer is for every reader to have a conscious, strong experience with the love of God in a powerful and tangible way.

_____________

She chose him and followed him in times of uncertainty and she returned to him time and time again when things became difficult.

She consciously surrendered everything to him and tried her hardest to live a perfect life, focused on his plans and his will. She chose to surrender in the knowledge that she would always be protected.

Suddenly like a flash out of nowhere she was surrounded by a deep darkness. One interaction with the cruelest aspects of this world, one of the vilest forms of sin. And it hurt her -deeply.

Scars dug deep into her soul, deeper than she could ever possibly imagine and she scampered into hiding away from the light, far from hope.

Slowly and surely, people began to look for her and search for her, gently helping her and aiding her.

But the same question remained in her mind, the same confusion and anger:

“Where were you? Why did you leave me?  You promised to protect me! Why?”

It is the cruelest of things when sin breaches a heart after God. After a while that same  questioning seed of doubt began to grow, and grow.

With tears in her eyes she whispered: “Are you even real? Do you even love me?”

And the answer came, through the simple voices of children, the honesty of friends and the words of her closest family. The answer was louder than she could have ever imagined.

I love you, I died for you! I gave you the chance to come to me, and you came. You want to live a life surrendered to me, but you are not home yet.

You met with darkness when you least expected it. I have protected you, for your identity will never be tarnished by what has happened to you.

 I have protected you, for no  matter what this world throws at you, my love will always be stronger. I have given you eternal life. YOU ARE FREE! 

You can stand in the knowledge of your identity as my daughter – a child so precious and dearly loved in my eyes.

Since the day you came to me you were never alone!